Lies I Told When I Was Younger

justcallmedee
Sep 16, 2016
3 min read

I'm 19 now. I don't really lie very often. I don't feel the need to lie. However, when I was younger I was a regular pants on fire. Here are some of the ridiculous lies I've told (and got away with. Mostly):

I once told my friends my back garden was the size of a park. We were forming a girlband and needed somewhere to rehearse, of course. I do have quite a big back garden. Not as big, however, as a park. I also mentioned having a stage, complete with one of those little booster things that boost you up and take you down before/after your performance, which is ridiculous. And my friends didn't suspect a thing. Haha, suckers!

"My dad's a policeman"

He's not. But I told people that anyway. Not like all the time but you know when someone pisses you off as a child, theonly logical solution is to tell them your dad's a law enforcer. I don't know why I said it but it wasn't just me. A lot of people used it too. (Great minds!) And even though we all used it, we all still believed each other. And it scared the shit out of people. Like my dad's going to come and arrest my 7 year old classmate for tigging me even though I was clearly in the den. Like my dad was going to march across the playground, whilst calling for back up, and cart off my classmate in a car with red and blue lights and a siren. Like my dad was going to hear reports of an attempted robbery but think "nope, forget stopping that, I must arrest this child for not adhering to the rules of this playground game. It is truly unforgivable!"

"My family own a limo"

- But it's in for repairs, hence the ugly Toyota you will see if you happen to go past my driveway at any point. - Oh yeah. I covered all the bases. Mama didn't raise no fool.

I managed to convince people I could read palms. I do actually know a couple of things when it comes to palm reading. When I was 7 - not so much. Did that stop me though? Oh hell no! I was a real JK Rowling of the fake fortune world. I made up fake fortunes like it was my day job. I had them hanging onto my every word. You might as well have called me Mystic Meg.

The Power Ranger Incident -

Okay so this one time I broke the leg off my brother's green power ranger toy and to avoid any repercussions I threw it behind the sofa. Anyway, my brother completely forgot about it and by the time it resurfaced a few years later, he actually believed he had broken it and forgotten he'd hid it there. To be fair, it was something he would've done. (He broke a lot of stuff). It wasn't necessarily a lie, more an omission of truth, but I decided to let him take the fall (he did admit it himself!), rather than own up to it. A few more years later, I decided to tell my family the truth ("Hey, remember that time we found that broken power ranger...") and we all had a laugh about it. But to this day my brother will still bring up the power ranger incident in mock outrage - ("I can't believe you let me think it was me!")