If You Don't Like Guac I've Got News For You, Son...

The whole world is suddenly obsessed with avocados, in particular guacamole. All you ever hear these days is guac this, guac that. It's like I'm surrounded by ducks. (OH COME ON, THAT WAS FUNNY) But if, like me, you're not into that mainstream shiz but still wanna be healthy, I've got you covered. (P.S. I'm totally into mainstream shiz, in fact I live for it. I just don't really like guacamole all that much)

Firstly I feel like I should explain my aversion to guacamole. 1. The one or two times I've ever tried it (or remember trying it) I hadn't thought it was all that great. 2. I prefer my nachos with soured cream 3. My palette may mature with age but rn I don't particularly like it/remember liking it. 4. If I don't really remember what it tastes like, it can't have been that great. Okay now that's outta the way, here's how you can consume avocados without succumbing to the hype of the bland green mush that is guacamole. 2 words: AVOCADO MILKSHAKE. Also known in my house as "pear milk" (est. Probably before I was born but I remember it when I was like 4 or 5 so let's say 2000)* Pear milk is so yummy (it felt wrong to type that word. I never say it irl). I've been drinking it for years. It's so easy to make. It's low in sugar and has zero salt. Plus it's probably one of your five a day.

Cow's milk has a range of nutrients such as protein, zinc and of course calcium. It contains about 22 grams of fat per pint. (According to the Daily Mail)

Below is a nutrition guide of avocados, courtesy of Wikipedia - (I know, I know)

Okay let's crack on.

Ingredients: 1 large avocado per 1 pint of milk. Sugar to taste. Ice cubes (optional)

Step 1. Peel yourself some avocados. Make sure they're ripe (soft when pressed). Remove the stones. (I was gonna say "if you want", just for the banter, but I don't wanna get sued in case someone didn't actually know you can't eat avocado stones so just to be clear REMOVE THE STONES).

If you don't know how to peel an avocado you basically cut it down its longest side (top to bottom, rather than across the middle). You'll feel the inside stone with your knife - just keep cutting down the side and around to the other side so there's a slit all the way around the avocado. Then twist both sides so they come apart into two separate halves. Hit the now exposed stone with the blade of the knife, swiftly. It should stick to the blade and you can remove it from the fruit. Now get a spoon and scoop out the insides of the avocado. Do the same with the other half. Discard the peel/skin. (Not sure what it's called)

Step 2. Add the avocados into a blender Step 3. Pour the milk in the blender gradually. (I'm assuming you know how to do that) Step 4. Blend Step 5. Add some sugar to taste Step 6. Blend again/add more milk until desired thickness is achieved Step 7. Realise that I skipped a step Step 8. Just kidding Step 9. Remove from blender and pour into a glass. Step 10. Add ice cubes if you want. (no, really; if you want, this time) Step 11. Drink and enjoy Step 12. Leave me likes and comments about how great the recipe is. Or about great I am. I'm not fussed. Then share with your mates and that.

Also, if you're reading this thinking damn, this sounds amazing but I'm lactose intolerant ffs; I've got you, bro. Just substitute the milk for soy milk, almond milk (which I'm really not a fan of) or coconut milk etc.

Cheers. *I asked mum, she said my grandma used to make it, so it was definitely before I was born.