Rape Victims: Responsibility or Blame?

“Nearly half a million adults are sexually assaulted in England and Wales each year” – Rape Crisis England & Wales

Some people think assigning blame for rape is a tricky task. I don’t.

For me, it’s quite simple. The promiscuity of clothes does not equal consent.

A girl could be walking the streets completely naked but unless she explicitly SAYS, using actual words, from her actual mouth, that she wants to have sex with someone, it should not be assumed that she does.

Any advances before then should be considered unwelcome, no matter how much the other person believes the girl is “asking for it”.

In its simplest form: YES MEANS YES. NO MEANS NO. If consent is ambiguous, it should be accepted as a no. Flirting is not consent.

Not everyone has this view, however. Some believe we should all take responsibility for our actions - behaviour and appearance included.

And while I strongly disagree that a victim of rape should take any of the blame, I do understand the view that people should be responsible for themselves.

I don’t blame rape victims, no matter if they were drunk, out late, or in short clothing. But it’s important to remember the world we live in. In an ideal world, a person could do what they want, where they want, when they want, wearing what they want, without inciting any kind of abuse or harassment.

We don’t live in an ideal world.

Just like you would be cautious when operating dangerous machinery, (wearing protective gear, following the correct procedures, being aware of the risks), it’s important to be cautious when you’re potentially exposed to rapists, murders, kidnappers, etc.

Of course, rape is not always brought on by clothing or drunkenness. But it definitely wouldn’t hurt to be wary of these factors when you go on a night out. For example, instead of walking home alone, see if you can stay with a friend that night and walk with them. Having someone in your group be at least slightly sober when you go out. It might not prevent an attack, unfortunately, but it could reduce your odds of being attacked in that instance.

It makes me furious to think about the fact that people, women and men, don’t have the freedom to behave how they want without being somewhat scrutinized if something bad happens to them.

The blame should always be with the abuser. My view on that will never waver. But I do think everyone should be more careful when the risks are so prominent.

Sometimes staying alive, staying well, is more important. Staying alive should be everyone’s main priority.

Having said that, I believe we should constantly fight to regain safety. Movements like “Take Back The Night” are brilliant. But there’s safety in numbers. Protest in groups. Look after yourself when you’re alone. Safety first.

Comments:

Brilliant analysis even though I disagree with some of your points. People should be aware of the world we are living and try to behave accordingly. Having said that, rape is a serious crime and it’s up to authorities to step up to the plate and make our streets safer.