Trashy reality TV is my guilty pleasure. There's nothing quite like the feeling of switching your brain off for a short time while you watch ridiculous people talk about ridiculous things. It's almost cathartic to unwind as you absorb the latest instalment of frivolous stupidity.
And it doesn't get more mind-numbing than Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives.
Pretension, elitism, and just a whole load of cringe - this show, following Maheep Kapoor, Bhavana Pandey, Neelam Kothari Soni and Seema Khan, truly exemplifies the essence of Bollywood as a whole. These are the worst parts of the series you'll have to endure:
Bollywood Where?
Truthfully I failed to see where Bollywood even came into it. This show was supposed to be a reflection on the lives of Indian women and yet there was literally no reference to the country or culture. If the show was so focused on appearing western, they may as well have used any random 4 women.
Maheep swanned around France acting prestigious - like she didn't buy her daughter's way into Le Bal, wouldn't let her Indian husband speak in Hindi in public (and was visibly embarrassed when he did), but then was happy to speak in Hindi with her friends so they could gossip about the waiter while in Doha. Make it make sense.
Not to mention their children who couldn't even speak Hindi, while living in India and aspiring to be actors. I also found it super weird when the wives spoke to their elderly mothers in English, even though the latter clearly would've preferred to speak in their native tongue. Uncomfortable to watch.
Pretension and Accents
Which leads us onto the accents. Despite claims that their accents are natural, the heavily affected way in which they talk will have you rolling your eyes every 30 seconds. Pair that with comments such as "Of course we go shopping in a Rolls-Royce, is there any other mode of transportation? I don't know" and you've got yourself a bunch of obnoxious braggarts.
Swearing
Remember when we started year 7 and everyone went crazy, using swear words in every sentence because we knew no one would "tell the teacher"? As we grew into mature adults, we learnt how to talk like actual human beings, mostly using swear words to emphasise a point. Apparently these women didn't get that memo.
This is gonna sound like I'm gunning for Maheep but honestly she put the target on her own back because it was pretty much just her. I don't care how long you've been friends, there is absolutely NO WAY she talks to people like that if cameras aren't rolling. And if she does, well, I can't decide if that's even worse.
I don't know if she thought it made her seem powerful or modern, but it did the opposite. I physically cringed every time she swore or even said something rude because it was clear from her face that she was forcing it. If you look closely at her mouth when she's about to swear, she pauses for a second and really enunciates it. Amateur dramatics or subconscious shame? Whatever the reason, it was childish and I was embarrassed for her.
Karan Johar
Is there anyone as egotistical as Karan Johar? It's quite evident that he was the executive producer but the fact he felt the need to insert himself into various episodes to create drama and steal the spotlight made it seem less like a reality series and more like one of his catty talk shows. Like why on earth would he ordinarily turn up to their girls' holiday? Unnecessary and unauthentic. Made himself look like even more of a bitchy narcissist (who knew that was even possible?!)
The Kardashian Obsession
It was quite obvious that the Kardashians heavily influenced the show but it didn't have the effect that the cast probably imagined. Maheep clearly saw herself as a wannabe Kris Jenner/Regina George's "Cool Mom". As well as this, they made references to the Kardashians quite a lot. Seema admitted to frequently DMing Kim, Janhvi Kapoor flaunted how Kylie wished her a happy birthday (kinda seemed like one of those paid for personalised videos) before she and Maheep's daughter Shanaya imitated the Kardashians, and Bhavana's daughter Ananya tried to pass off a well known Khloe quote as her own ("I thought my name was fuck"). As someone unimpressed by the whole Kardashian phenomenon anyway, these displays came across as embarrassing and pathetic, especially from 40 - 50 year olds.
Champagne Problems
India has one of the most significant rich/poor divides in the world. For these ultra wealthy showbiz "stars" to sit around complaining about facelifts, social media criticisms, holiday destinations, nepotism and the word MILF, proves how unaware of their own privilege they really are.
Champagne problems typically invoke feelings of jealousy or aspiration but quite frankly they just made me feel sad for the cast. It was ironic how reality stars could be so detached from reality.
What irked me the most (but didn't surprise me in the slightest) was how I only heard 'the help' being thanked ONCE throughout the entire 8-episode season. For people who have everything done for them all day long, "thank you" should be two of their most frequently used words. (I mean, they probably wouldn't have forgotten the word merci if they used it more often)
Bollywood has never really been my thing, so I was expecting to hate this show. And while it's terrible in all the ways listed above and so many more, I'm glad I watched it and I'll probably be watching the next season.
If you love to hate frivolous reality stars then Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives will not disappoint. But it WILL irritate, exasperate and infuriate. And that's okay! We need that sometimes so we can vent about something mindless and then get on with our day.
While it was annoying and occasionally painful to watch, it was definitely entertaining. Contrary to popular belief, they aren't technically rich, jobless housewives - they each have their own business. It's a side that should probably be explored more next season as it was the only time they seemed likeable.
As well as this, there were moments that made me laugh, albeit reluctantly. The husbands and Bhavana were generally easier to watch. Shah Rukh Khan's cameo at the end was quite cute. There were definitely redeeming qualities that keep me intrigued and made the show worth watching.
PSA: cool drinking game - take a sip every time Maheep swears. (Just a SIP will suffice, trust me)
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